Beyond ‘I Can’t’: Encouraging a Growth Mindset in Children

“I’m not good at this.” 

“I can’t do it.” 

“I’ll never be able to do this.” 

“This is too hard. I give up.”

“I hate making mistakes.” 

Have you heard your child make these kinds of statements before? Maybe when they’re doing homework? Or trying a new skill or activity? These statements come from having a fixed mindset. Having a fixed mindset is believing that your abilities and skills cannot change. It means putting in effort would not matter or make a difference. Children with a fixed mindset may avoid challenges, give up easily, and feel threatened by the success of others. It is important to recognize these statements and help your child shift their mindset to a growth mindset. 

Well What is a Growth Mindset?

“I can learn from my mistakes.” 

“I can improve with practice.” 

“I’m not there yet, but I will be. “ 

“I’m going to try a different way.” 

“This is hard, but I can do it.” 

“I like learning new things.” 

The above statements are all examples of what a child with a growth mindset may say. A growth mindset is understanding that your skills and abilities can change and improve. It’s understanding that challenges and mistakes can help you grow. Through hard work, effort, dedication, and learning a child can improve their skills. When a child has this kind of mindset, they can take on difficult tasks, learn from criticism, and achieve success. Overall, it helps foster resilience that can help them across their life. 

How Can I Help My Child? 

Here are some ways that you can teach a growth mindset at home to your child: 

Firstly, praise the process! What we mean by that is instead of saying, “you’re so smart,” try instead to reflect “I’m proud of how hard you worked on that.” 

Secondly, celebrate their mistakes. Mistakes are a part of the process and how we learn. Challenge yourself to use mistakes as a teaching moment. 

Thirdly, model your own growth mindset to them. Open up to your child about your own challenges and how you overcame them. Children are observant and learn a lot by watching us!

Lastly, use the power of “yet” as a skill. When your child says, “I can’t do this,” remind them to add the word “yet.” In practice it sounds like, “I can’t do this... yet” which changes the perspective. 

Parents, it is not easy changing their perspective and it won’t happen overnight, but be consistent! With every encouragement, conversation, and challenge that you help your child through, they will soon adopt the growth mindset. You are going to be able to give your child the tools they need in life to feel confident in welcoming mistakes, trying new things, and facing new challenges!